I "play by", well sort of in a quite vague way, what is behind dukkha-sorrow, discontentment etc as being a symptom of wrongness as we know it and a-THE catalyst, so for me it is a process, it is an awakener, a helper, a teacher etc etc...I would be tempted to say that it is an indirect line with...with...?? let's say The Source...yet this is perhaps more a "romantic" saying than a fact..the fact is that I do not know what is this energy which is there in strange times of what we may call bliss or whatever like absolute contentment etc ...it has no name anyway..and just know like some , some of its effects when it is lived.
if I do not know for myself that dukkha-sorrow is a symptom and a catalyst for having lived that many times now....then immediately I am back to heavy or not heavy suffering of which I know nothing about , this brings me back to my past totally lost in ignorance and in pain....and there is no way I am going back there, why do such thing..
Krishnamurti goes that way with people often....not only..
So to keep on with what is in bold letters i need to recall some experiences..otherwise I have nothing of value to say so share so I think.
Here again I am going tangential ...and I bring a recurrent over the years, vivid dreams ...
I walk alone in the country, beautiful place by my standard near the sea side...I should be fine yet I know that something is going to happen, something deadly terrible which frightens me entirely....at first I do not know about what is going to happen, then all of a sudden I see the sea level rising at an incredible speed, something tells me to stay with that, not to move, not to run away, that it is too big anyway so that there is no escape ..despite that I try to run away most of the time, then of course I drown and wake up in total fear sweating and all of it...
I have learn that even in a dream well nightmare the best ones indeed, the more significant by far ,that there can be the "awareness that one can act in such circumstances without the fear, and I have done it more than a few times, so I voluntary let the sea submerged me, or sometimes it is a dream where one falls from a hight cliff,same meaning behind for me , and when I do not escape....something impossible takes place...one does not drown, one does not get the body smashed when falling down on the rocks..
then here one learns something...this will be to be seen by anyone when it occurs..as it is never the same so far....
but today's quote comes forth to gently "help" us from Ommen Camp, Holland | 3rd Public Talk 8th August, 1938
- We are trying to escape, run away from ignorance and fear, through forming habits that will counteract them, that will resist them - habits of ideals and morality. When there is discontentment, sorrow, the intellect mechanically comes forward with solutions, explanations, tentative suggestions, which gradually crystallize and become habits of thought. Thus suffering and doubt are covered over.
- So fear is the root of this habit-forming mechanism. We must understand its process. By understanding I do not mean the mere intellectual grasp of it, but the becoming aware of it as an actual process that is taking place, not superficially, but as something that is happening every day of one's life. Understanding is a process of self-revelation, of being aware not merely objectively, mechanically, but as a part of our very existence.
the sea will rise again but one has learn something...and as long as thought is still concerned in such process what is left can be used up to its limits where it is significant to be used, at some stage thought will be an hindrance so here memory has nothing to offer at all apart from preventing any discovery, always involuntary for me..
"something helps" if and when i do not search for it..so when thought is not our "guide" to war, one of its very best achievement.. Thought is not fit for the whole of life ...says dukkah and pain...?
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